(The following was originally posted on my Carepages blog for family and friends during my treatment.)
I spoke with my surgeon and will have surgery on July 10. (I'll probably be in overnight.) Someone asked me if I was alright with it.
To be honest, I haven't been all that okay about having chemo. (I avoided putting toxic chemicals in and on my body for over thirty years.) I haven't been okay about all the side effects. It's zapped my energy, affected my brain and eye sight and been hard on my skin. My fingers and toes still remain numb beyond the third joint, making it hard to write, correctly type, open things, and pick up things. They say this usually goes away.
I am also not okay with having cancer. (I didn't get a vote on it--at least not consciously). Thus, based on the fact that I wanted to eradicate cancer, I agreed to endure some of the other more annoying things. (I want to add that, although there are alternative paths I could have taken, those who know me know I wasn't going to go the "eat wheatgrass" or "drink green smoothies" route.) Being that I had cancer before and that this round was showing itself as fast growing, I couldn't afford to fool around.
What I'm grateful for is a team who seems really good at what they do as well as being admirably compassionate. Even though I sometimes feel like a living science experiment, I am definitely seeing positive results--and that's the most important part.
So mark your calendars for July 10 and send up some extra prayers that day. I may be a little rough around the edges after, but will be on the recovery road thereafter.